Caregiving and how to Thrive
Are you a caregiver? How long have you been caregiving? A year, 5 years, 10 years, or longer? I have been a caregiver to my daughter who has special needs for 18 years now. We still have many more years to go as she has her whole adulthood ahead of her. The funny thing about having an adult you have to support and give care to is that it never really ends. No matter how hard you try you will always have something to take care of. Further, well life just goes on despite high stress situations, doctors’ appointments, therapies, and all that comes with caregiving. We can become caregivers at any age and to anyone who is in our lives. It could be a sibling, spouse, child, parent, even a close friend you may be helping with. As time wears on, sometimes it can be increasingly difficult to even consider focusing on yourself. You may think that you are selfish for considering your own needs. You may think that even thinking yourself that you are somehow hurting the person you are caregiving for. I promise you however, that if you neglect your own needs, that it will become increasingly difficult to care for your loved one. Below are some tips to help you care for yourself and your needs in the midst of caregiving.
1. Take care of your basic needs: Do you regularly eat healthy and nutritious food? How is your sleep hygiene? Do you tend to your mental and physical health? Eating well, sleeping well, and taking care of our mental and physical health is just as important as taking care of your loved ones needs. Caregiving is hard physical and emotional work and sometimes we need help sorting through those pieces. Though caregivers generally don’t get time off, we get sick too, need doctors’ appointments, and sometimes need to tend to medication support or weight loss support. Ensuring you tend to these needs is helpful for preventing burnout. Your needs matter too!
2. Nourish a support network: Caregiving is intense work. Not only do you have to tend to your loved ones needs but because of therapy and doctor appointments schedules, it is easy to be too busy to socialize or engage with a support network. Having a support network and keeping up with people in your lives is important. There are many great support groups on FB and other platforms, texting is an easy way to stay in touch, phone calls can work for many people, and even going to events for caregivers is important for connection. It only takes a few moments out of the day to tell someone, “Hi I hope you are doing well.” Staying in contact will give you an outlet to conversations that are supportive and sometimes even fun. Let’s face it, sometimes we need to hear someone else’s drama in order to not feel so overwhelmed with ours.
3. Utilize Respite: Utilize respite intentionally! Caregivers need a break sometimes to recharge and focus on something they need to take care of. Whether its appointments, coffee with a friend, going to the gym, or even an overnight, you need a break. Caregiving though rewarding and loving, it is also exhausting. There are local agencies that can provide respite, you can hire a private pay person, a family member or friend may be willing to come help out, you just have to ask. In some communities this can be extremely difficult to find, use your local resources to help you in this area. When you have the break make sure you are doing things that are nourishing such as a coffee with a friend, picking up a yummy meal to take home, maybe its getting a pedicure. Whatever that time is for you, utilize it. It will become important.
4. Utilize Local Resources: Depending on where you live, there are often different organizations that can be of assistance with different things. For example, perhaps you need some adaptive equipment on a budget. There may be a local loan closet that has such items. FB Marketplace is another source to look. Or even the local Goodwill sometimes has medical equipment. If your loved one you are caring for is in any kind of program with a case manager, reach out to that person. He/she can help locate the things that you need possibly even funding help. If the loved one you are caring for is in the VA system they have a lot of resources to help as well.
I hope some of these suggestions are helpful to get you thinking about what you need and how you can start looking to feel those needs. I do want to reiterate one point. It is not selfish to have needs and to find ways to meet those needs. Again, your caregiving is only going to be successful if you are caring for yourself too.